Quite possibly the reason could be that the resolutions made are just too big or too many to be achievable. If one decides to make over one's entire life with a serious of big resolutions, then the set up for failure becomes almost guaranteed. Resolutions are meant to create change and change is tough. Thus if a person wants to quit smoking, lose weight, buy a house and complete that uncompleted degree, all worthy resolutions, that person is possibly biting off more than he can chew.
Deciding What's Important
The first step is to decide what is important in life. What are the things that a person wants to change and which ones are most important. This is not the time to be hard on oneself, reacting to every character flaw a person sees within him or her self. This is a time to honestly assess what one wants from life and what one wants to do with his or her one precious life. It is a time to say honestly what one dislikes about one's self and to see if that dislike is motivation enough to change that characteristic.
How Many is Too Many?
The next question involves how much can one person change in a year. While a year is a long time, most lasting change is achieved gradually and over time. Often there are set backs and new strategies have to be explored to make the changes. A person does not want to load up on resolutions, achieve two or three and then feel badly about the other six that he or she couldn't get to when he or she should be very proud of the two that were managed. It is also easier to start to make change when a person is dealing with one or two issues instead of an overwhelming number that seems to big to even begin to tackle.
Making the Resolutions
One should make reasonable and manageable resolutions in both number and goal, beginning slowly to make the changes. If for example one wants to quit smoking, set up a plan to achieve the goal, like going to the doctor, getting a patch or chewing gum and setting up a time frame. If one wants to lose weight or buy a house or finish a degree, setting up a plan, breaking the goal into smaller manageable pieces can go a long way to insuring that the resolution is achieved.
Relax
Once the plan is made and the change is started, relax and know that there will be set backs. There will be times when giving up seems like a good alternative. That is the time to go back and re-read the plan, fix what's needed and relax knowing that one is doing one's best. Make alterations in the resolution as you go and stay optimistic. Such an attitude can go a long way to keeping that resolution.
Remember all this as the glasses clink and the music plays on December 31 and above all try to enjoy the process of changing. It can be fun.
Kathy Schlossmacher - I am a former teacher and social worker with degrees in psychology, social work and theology. I have many personal interests including ...
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